Orgs. For Jewish Jewish Singles

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The Power Of One: Why Organizations Can't Do Everything

By: Ziona Greenwald
As even quick perusal of this newspaper shows, our Jewish Community is fortunate to have countless non-profit organizations dedicated to worthwhile causes. Think of virtually any need, and you will find an organization trying to fill it. This chesed infrastructure is both a kiddush Hashem and a powerful force in sustaining the Jewish people physically and spiritually. And all most of us have to do to keep the system going is write out a check every now and then. We buy a raffle ticket, attend a Chinese auction, place an ad in a dinner journal, and rest assured knowing there are people out there working to put our money to good use.
But what if that isn't enough? What if some problems can't be solved even by well-financed machine? What if some needs can't be met unless members of the Jewish Community get personally involved? Below are three areas in which believe organizations cannot take the place of individual efforts, or are failing in their attempts to address the issue. Not only is getting involved in these holy endeavors the right thing to do, it is critical to the continuing vitality of the Jewish people.

* Kiruv. Thankfully, there is plenty of organized activity focused on bringing non-observant Jews back into the fold. Indeed, kiruv is the driving mission of organizations such as the National Jewish Outreach Program (NJOP), Aish HaTorah, and Chabad. The importance of their work cannot be overstated. But believe that we make dangerous mistake if we rely on these entities to shoulder the task.

Ask any ba'al teshuvah what first turned him or her on to Yiddishkeit, and you are likely to hear these words: "Friday night." There is something about the Friday night table — the glow of the candles, the heartfelt songs, the special foods, the serenity that comes with surcease of mundane distractions — that touches the soul of even the greatest cynic. The best orchestrated Shabbaton cannot replicate that magic. When we welcome unaffiliated Jews into our home, we are returning something that belongs to them.

It shouldn't end with Shabbos. Most people associate the Yomim Tovim with family: loved ones coming together to share in the joy and traditions of the holiday. But what about sharing the experience? Inviting not-yet-observant or newly observant family to join your seder or have a meal in your sukkah is a wonderful learning opportunity not just for their children but for yours, a chance to demonstrate ahavat Yisrael in action.

The mitzvah of shalach manot on Purim is another wonderful opportunity for kiruv. This is one of the most valuable lessons learned from my mother: Rather than wasting money giving packages to myriad friends whose tables will be piled high with similar gifts, every year she looks around for people — Jewish neighbors and acquaintances — who likely will not receive shalach manot from anyone else. As children, my sisters and delivered these packages, and watched as some recipients grew teary with emotion. The beauty of such efforts is that they succeed even when they fail: If those we reach out to choose not to return to Yiddishkeit, they will still be warmed by the feeling that we care enough to remember them.

* Shidduchim. Here there is almost no momentum on an organized level. While several leading organizations have launched initiatives to address the so-called Jewish Match crisis, these programs have unfortunately not made any meaningful difference. On smaller scale, members of various shuls and communities have formed Jewish Match clubs (groups that meet once a month or so to try to make matches), but synagogue leadership has been largely silent. This in the face of a virtual consensus that there are simply not enough opportunities for Jewish Marriage-minded Jewish Singles to meet or to network with those who might be able to introduce them to potential mates.

As Jewish Singles get older, the phone rings less and less often. know — went through it. For better or worse, Jewish Singles depend on the people they know to set them up. Therefore, the most effective way to solve the Jewish Match problem is not a convocation or a conference but for everyone — married or Jewish Single, old or young, male or female — to devote time and energy to finding shidduchim for their friends and relatives.

By doing so, we not only further the ultimate goal of building new Jewish homes; we also make the process little less trying for people going through one of the most frustrating periods of their lives. Most Jewish Singles are flattered and elated when someone they know calls with a Jewish Match, but find it somewhat degrading to visit a professional shadchan. am no professional, and don't keep a color-coded notebook (it's more like a folder of floating Post-Its), but am always trying to think of potential matches, and when have an idea, pick up the phone.

It is distressing when hear people say "Oh, 'm not really into setting people up," or "Shidduchim are not my thing." Being a good shadchan is as much about sensitivity, empathy, and persistence as it is about talent for jewish matchmaking. And who knows if you will be the link that will bring two people together?

* Torah study. Our institutions are doing wonderful job of bringing Torah to our doorstep. There are shiurim offered in most every Jewish Community, seforim available in English translation, and a wealth of Torah available online and even over the phone. Admirably, scores of people are kovea itim, making time to learn amid their busy schedules. But there are others, men and jewish women like myself, for whom learning is only an occasional occurrence. Why aren't we taking more advantage of these opportunities?

For one thing, life is hectic. We have so much to do that it seems perfectly justified to use any free moment for our own relaxation. And to the extent that we do make time for spiritual pursuits, helping others may seem more worthwhile than the "selfish" act of furthering our own Torah knowledge. Yet going weeks without Torah begins to cloud our sense of purpose, sinking us deeper into the rut of rote observance and worldly concerns. So how to climb out? It helps to find someone whose approach and pedagogic style you like. (Learning shouldn't be chore.) am normally loath to venture out again after a hard day at work, but when my favorite rebbetzin is giving a class, try to push myself. It's like a visit to the gym: leave home tired and return energized.

Others may see themselves as unsuited to scholarship. True, there is more than one way to fulfill the mitzvah of talmud Torah. We know that those who support Torah acquire the same mitzvah as those who study it. But Torah study is more than just an obligation to fulfill. It is way of deepening our relationship with Hashem and thereby making our observance more meaningful. In other words, learning is not only an end unto itself, but a means to a richer life. This benefit cannot be acquired by proxy. It does not come along with a receipt for a tax deduction. Only by picking up a sefer or attending a class can each of us — men and jewish women alike — grow as Jews.


Judaism emphasizes the importance of the klal — the collective that draws on the resources of many. It places equal emphasis, however, on the potential for each individual to have lasting impact on the world. In these three areas as well as others, no organization can match the power of one.

Ziona Greenwald is lawyer and former magazine editor living in Manhattan.